11 WEEKS | SLAYING AT BEYONCE, NOT SLAYING BACK HOME

I celebrated the 11 week mark by seeing the Queen, and she was amazing. Sadly, Lou couldn't join us as baby Massimo was poorly so Katie and I tried to slay for three. We travelled over to Manchester to see her, and for some reason that day I felt compelled to eat four full sized meals before 3pm.. and still managed a whole lobster and fries an hour later.. and some dirty takeaway chicken in the early hours after dancing in some amazing dive bar on Canal Street.. 

Back home afterwards was a different story and I feel like I'd been hit by a train and really felt floored. The next day (today) I've felt even worse, with headaches hanging around like a storm cloud on my brain, and I even gave up trying to work and went to sleep, which I hate doing - it's busy season - and didn't even feel much better afterwards. I feel I've been pretty normal emotionally so far, aside from a little grumpiness, but today I've really just wanted a hug and keep willing David and Viv to come home and distract me from my own self pity. I'm also at the point where I'm worrying the night before weddings and contemplating trying to rope in an emergency second shooter but generally I have been coping on wedding days so far, armed with cereal bars and paracetamol in my camera bag. 

Also as I write it's T-5 days until the scan. I feel a little as though I'm not letting myself feel too excited just yet and think a healthy baby is such a privilege then I don't want to just assume everything will be OK. I think I'll relax into everything much more once I've seen it on the screen and hopefully had confirmation that everything's OK.

We've also decided to go all out on Sunday and invited all close family round for an early BBQ, then all our closest friends will arrive later on so all the 'important people' can find out in one go... Nervous/excited just thinking about it...