SYLVIE TURNS ONE

That face! How is she one already? It feels like only a few months ago that I was writing in this blog about how it felt to be pregnant with this little monster. And now she's a whole year old.

So excited to get going that she arrived almost three weeks early, and she's been a wonderful force of nature ever since. Yes, she has her moments, but she's been a dream (teething was a difficult few weeks.. and she can scream the place down if you don't feed her fast enough.. but she slept through after a few months.. so I guess it's swings and roundabouts).

She adores Vivienne and Vivienne adores her; which is all we ever really wanted. When we dared think about having another baby, we knew what we'd hoped for but we didn't think we'd get it and more. Of course there were days where frustration, hormones and tiredness took over, but it was (and is) all worth it.

For her birthday celebrations, especially as it falls the day after the national hangover, January 2nd, we decide to keep it really small. We basically bought the party food selection still left after Christmas at M&S with some lasagne and invited family and godparents round. We sang happy birthday to a baby who had no idea what was going on, she was passed around and cuddled and loved and it was all we ever wanted for her from that day. Dav and I are up for celebrating anything all the time (any excuse) but even we were a bit fatigued after Christmas..

Anyway. Here's to our Sylvie-boo. You came into our world early; hungry, loud and beautiful and you've made our lives and family richer every day since. You are so full of character, so funny, such a little pudding.. we love you. And we can't wait to see what the next few years bring.

OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS AS FOUR

Oh this year was a bit extra-special.. our first Christmas with our Winter baby, Sylvie. Our first Christmas as a family of four! Vivienne was so excited, Sylvie didn't know what was going on, it made everything that little bit busier than last year.. and it was all completely magical.

I loved hearing Vivienne telling Sylvie about Christmas and what happens ("this is our Christmas tree and we hang things on it.. no you can't pull them off!") whilst simultaneously remembering being very, very pregnant at the same time last year..  we were lucky enough to have a few days of snow which Sylvie was excited by, we went for lots of walks down into the town centre whilst being wrapped up warm, we had a 'friendmas' and pulled crackers a few weeks early, made a Christmas cake with Vivienne well in advance of Christmas day, made our own advent calendar..

In November we had to gently intervene with Vivienne's early Christmas list draft as it contained three pairs of trainers, an iPod and a Macbook Pro.. (she's eight. I *know*) She replied by saying "I know they're a lot of money which is why I've waited to ask Santa, then you don't have to pay for them." Well played, Vivienne. We had some thinking-outside-the-box-on-the-spot to do before gently persuading her that it was, in short, a ridiculous Christmas list. Fortunately she went on to revise it to something a little bit less ambitious..

As always, Vivienne's social calendar was busier than ours as she went on Brownie trips on the Santa Express, had Christmas discos and parties to attend, and we went to her school carol concert at a local church. Their school term didn't finish until 22nd which felt really late - half the excitement is feeling it build before Christmas, isn't it? But we made the most of the weekend before prepping veg and tidying round ready to host Christmas day (even if I was slightly worse for wear on Christmas Eve.. I didn't have any Christmas nights out last year due to bump so I guess it's OK..)

Vivienne was so excited this year, so much so that she excitedly carried her stocking into our room at 4.30am asking if the day could start immediately and she could start opening presents (the answer was no.. and 'go back to sleep'..) Ringing a bell to announce that 'he's been!' is a Christmas tradition in our house and my heart felt full watching the girls come into the living room on Christmas morning (even if it was still only 6.30am..) Vivienne bounded in and brought Sylvie to her pile of things before creating chaos in her corner opening things in a frenzy.

We have a few Christmas traditions but decided to add a few more this year. Last year, heavily pregnant, I was desperately trying to 'get things going' by walking as much as possible; including walking a long stretch along the beach and to the local farm shop and back - we've decided to do this every year. Vivienne and I made an advent calendar that contained a good deed, affirmation or something like 'think of three reasons you feel lucky today' for her to open each day; she had a chocolate advent calendar too.. I'm not that mean.. We also decided to start a little tradition between the girls where we'll give them a little money each year so they can buy each other a little gift to put under the tree; Vivienne picked both gifts this year but still wrote Sylvie a 'Thank You' card for hers.

We hosted Christmas dinner with my parents, sister and grandparents.. It went well, nothing got burnt or forgotten, there were no arguments.. all in all we had a busy, perfectly normal but wonderfully special Christmas fuelled by cheese, pate, alcohol, party food and leftovers (still feeling the effects at this end, well into January..) 

I had two weddings between Christmas and New Year, and then the next stop was Sylvie's birthday on January 2nd - I think the actual chaos died down on about January 4th after Christmas, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I hope you all had a really wonderful and special Christmas and a very happy 2018.

FESTIVAL OF THRIFT, KIRKLEATHAM | DAY TRIPPER

I first came across the Festival of Thrift last year when I thought I'd give it a go one September Saturday after seeing flyers in the Post Office, and ended up visiting *both* days of the weekend that it was on. It's *amazing*. It's a family and earth-friendly local festival held in Kirkleatham near Redcar, promoting sustainability and full of fab things to do for all ages. There are bric-a-brac and handmade produce stalls, bars in double decker buses, farmers market stalls, live performances, craft activites, amazing street food.. the weather for both visits over the two years has been that perfect early-Autumn September sun.

Vivienne packed a fair bit in during the day we visited; she did chocolate decorating, made a purse out of a recycled tetrapack with Friends of the Earth, a seedbomb with Manor Garden Flowers; and we all sat and watched the dancing and performances that were on throughout the day with food and drinks too. The weekend has such a lovely and relaxed atmosphere, it's almost like a small and relaxed Glastonbury, like you're casually wandering through the Craft Field or Green Futures.

Obviously Sylvie didn't get up to that much but enjoyed the busy-ness and music that was going on. It was a very accessible festival for us with the buggy so it was a relaxing way to spend the day with a baby in tow. You could spend anything from a few hours there or could make a full day of exploring everything on offer there.

All in all it was £5 for a car parking voucher, so it costs nothing if you make your own way there without driving. A lot of the activities are free, including things like den-building where tools and materials are left out for you to use as you wish. We actually decided against den-building this year after a bit of a family fall out last year.. zero teamwork or planning ended up with a few strops along the way about committee decisions..

Anyway, if you're local-ish to Teesside (or not?) it's so worth visiting and having a colourful, crafty and chilled out weekend. It's cheap as chips, accessible, and if you're a fan of festivals, farmers markets, arts, crafts, vintage shopping, thrifting, and shopping independent/local then this is the weekend to look out for next year and scribble it in the calendar. It seemed bigger this year than last year which only bodes well for next year. We bloody love it.

THE SIX WEEKS SO FAR | THINGS TO DO WITH KIDS IN TEESSIDE

It feels like I've blinked and the holidays have nearly finished.. I actually changed my mind about a day's childcare later in the week this week so that I could see the girls and do some special things before school and routine starts off all over again. Because of work commitments and general busy-ness this year we haven't ventured very far over the past few weeks, really. Just a few day trips here and there and pottering about in our local area. I've also not let myself feel guilty for some lazy days hanging out at home either, and letting Vivienne read, do something crafty or just watch a film (or three.. as it turned out one day last week..)

Vivienne loves to get out and about on her bike or scooter, and we often walk down into Yarm for ice cream, lunch, or to visit the library. We're also lucky enough to have Preston Park about 5 minutes drive away which we love - the play area is huge, there's a Victorian street musem, a walled vegetable and flower garden, mini golf, a skate park type thing and Butterfly World.. and it's cheap as chips too. This year they've installed a beach at one end of the Victorian Street which Viv and Sylvie loved (until Sylvie started eating fistfuls of sand).

My Dad has lent us the family tandem bike (my side are pretty enthusiastic about cycling and there were always a few bikes to pick from lying around in the garage) and has adjusted it for me and Vivienne. She absolutely loves it and when we go out on it often says 'this is the best day of my life' - she's pretty strong on it and we did about 43km in total in different outings last week. It's lovely to have something to do which is just me and her, so we can chat and spend some time without Sylvie interrupting or needing attention - it's nice to be able to give Viv some one-on-one too. Saying that, I'd *love* to get a baby seat for Sylvie on it too - thought I don't know whether my legs are strong enough to cycle both kids around.. Our gym has started doing some parent and kids classes too - like HIIT but not as intense, and we often go swimming at the gym and occasionally book a court for Viv to practise her tennis.

With a week or so left, Vivienne wants to invite a friend or cousin round and camp in the back garden in the next few weeks. We're also hoping to get to York and Whitby just us three girls, and Vivienne has asked to go kayaking at Tees Barrage after we sat on the bank and watching a class. Tomorrow is a rainy day so I think we're going swimming (always the easiest option when the weather is crappy..), pottery painting and to MIMA art gallery to see what's on. Below is a little list of things we do when I have a day with the girls or as a family.

OUR FAVOURITE THINGS TO DO IN TEESSIDE WITH THE KIDS

- Preston Park - the museum, the grounds, the park and Butterfly World.
- Stewart Park - huge and once a month there is a pretty big farmer's market.
- Tees Barrage. Doesn't seem like the most exciting place in the world but Viv loves watching the various water sports and seal spotting there.
- Saltburn. Always one of our favourite places. They also do a fab farmers' market and once a year they do a huge food festival which we *love*.
- A day trip to York, Tynemouth or Whitby - anywhere it's possible to get the train is a bonus too.
- Cycling from our home. We are lucky to live a few miles from a few different quiet villages and we've loved cycling between them all. I'm hoping to take Vivienne a little further each time and maybe visit parents and grandparents on the tandem.
- Getting out walking up in the hills. We love Carlton Bank, Roseberry Topping, Captain Cook's monument and near Sheeps Wash.
- Jump 360, Clip'n'Climb and AirTrail.
- Prissick Base Cycle Track
- MIMA art gallery - often has activities and open days for kids in the holidays
- Guisborough Wood Walk
- Sundaes Ice Cream Shop in Yarm. Not strictly an activity but *so good*.
- The libraries offer so many activities in the holidays for kids, Viv is in the middle of a reading challenge and there are different themed days during the week.
- Hardwick Park - also have themed days for little ones.

And obviously sometimes *nothing* is the best thing to do. I'm definitely declaring one day a duvet day before the holidays are out so we can watch back-to-back films and eat junk food.. if you can't do it in the holidays when can you?!

Where are your favourite places around here? I still have a week or so to fill before the dreaded school routine starts all over again and I'd love some new haunts to add to the list :)

THINGS I WANT MY GIRLS TO KNOW

A little note to my girls.. including a few things I'm still learning myself..

Be yourself and try not to worry what others think

It's actually a lot harder than it sounds, and it takes years to realise who you really are. As you grow up you'll work out more and more what you like and what you don't, where your skills lie and what really and genuinely excites you. Trust your own instincts and never be afraid to politely say no - learning to say no is actually a more valuable lesson than you may realise. To ignore what others may think about you is something you have to learn - often (and I say this kindly ..) they won't actually be concerned with whatever you're doing anyway.

You are made of tough stuff

As I've always told you, women are *tough*. You are stronger, tougher and more resilient than you are led to believe - know that and use it. Don't let anyone take advantage of you and always stand up for yourself. Champion other women too, the sisterhood is important. 

Experiences matter more than things

The world is geared to make you believe you need this, that and the other. You don't. Prioritise spending your money on experiences, not things. Dinner with friends, a trip away, going on a course to learn a new skill.. all these things will make you feel more invigorated than a designer thing ever will. Of course it's OK to spend on little luxuries here and there; just get the balance right. Remember to take quiet time to yourself, appreciate the joys of reading and the thousands of little doors books open, and get outside and into nature as often as you can. Say yes to new experiences and keep an open mind - you may find a new passion when you least expect it.

Have good manners and be nice

It's so true that good manners cost nothing and count for everything. Say please and thank you every time it's appropriate. Be polite, be kind, be patient. If others aren't behaving nicely, realise that it's often more their own issues than anything you've done (of course, sometimes it might be you - be aware of your own behaviour too!) Everyone is fighting their own little battles behind the scenes and you may never know what they are - treat everyone as you would like to be treated. Little kindnesses go a long way. Just be a *good* person, basically. 

Work hard and save money

Try and find a job that combines something you're good at with something you enjoy. You don't need to aim for university and it's fine to take time to work out what you want to do. To have a career is to play the long game, don't be concerned with people who seem to 'overtake' you; just make sure you consistently work hard towards your *own* goals. Comparison is the thief of joy. There will always be someone who wants to tell you how well they're doing or how much they earn.. look inwards to look forwards and work out your own aspirations; don't be concerned with the boasters. Save as much as you can afford - savings are insurance - but also treat yourself when you can. 

You don't have to fall into traditional gender rolls

Find a partner who believes in full equality and who splits the boring household stuff down the middle and will treat your potential daughters and sons equally. Girls are tough and boys can show emotion. And of course if you want to have time at home raising a family and having a traditional dynamic that is completely *your* call - just make sure the balance of your life is your choice not your default. 

You don't *need* to move through life in the order of X, Y, Z..  

Of course there are wonderful benefits and joys to marriage and children, but you don't have to do either if it's not for you. You don't have to marry or even settle down, and you don't have to procreate. You are enough in yourself and how your future looks is your choice. 

Be skilled

They don't need to be career-definining skills or anything particularly impressive.. but learn skills that will serve you well. An instrument, a language and a sport is a good place to start. Learn to drive (and change a tyre), learn how to properly clean your home, pitch a tent and camp, learn to cook, how to change a plug, how to manage your money from month to month.. (also find a good party trick and a signature dance move. I never did either and I would have loved them..)

You don't have to look or behave 'like a girl'

Just because you're a girl (and will one day be a woman) you don't owe anything to the world. You don't *need* to have long hair, wear make up, look feminine, or behave 'like a girl' (in fact, if anyone says 'that's not very ladylike' you have my full permission to flip them the middle finger).. you can be whoever, do whatever and look however you want, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

Sometimes you'll mess up and that's OK

Bad and difficult things happen along the way, it's how you deal with them that counts. You learn from mistakes and each mistake is a little lesson. Everyone messes up sometimes. Stay calm, try and stay rational.. it's never the end of the world and what feels like the worst thing that's ever happened will one day feel OK. If you need to apologise to someone, do it sooner rather than later and be sincere. Take responsibility for yourself.

Exercise and love your body

You only have one - take care of it. Exercise for and look after your mind as well as your body. Don't aspire to be thin, focus on being strong and having the stamina to help carry yourself through life. It's ok to let things slide here and there - life is for living and not for restricting yourself. Your shape is your own, embrace it and marvel at what your body can do. Enjoy cooking, eating and dining out - good food is one of life's great pleasures. 

Do things for others

It's a big world out there and you are luckier than you realise. The world is a very harsh place for many. Be compassionate and be aware of issues outside of your own bubble. Give and do what you can for those who need a little more. It's OK to be angry at the state of the world if you channel that anger into doing good. Be passionate and CARE. Be tolerant. Vote.

Make good friendships

Your closest friends should be people who make you feel the most *you*. You should feel comfortable around them, and like you can fully be yourself. Don't settle for anyone who makes you feel inferior or make you feel you're compromising who you are. Look after your friendships and care deeply for your friends.

Put yourself out there

Act like your most confident self and you will become that person. Confidence isn't easy and isn't always comfortable, but *shy bairns get nowt* and if you don't put yourself out there you'll never know what might have been. Be a good conversationalist and listen more than you speak. Learn from others. Stand up and speak clearly to make your voice heard. Don't be too shy to be proud of your skills and accomplishments but don't be a dick about it either. Always challenge yourself.  

Live a balanced life

Work hard, but take time for yourself. If you have a partner, do interesting things without them too. Log on *and* switch off. If you go on to have a family make sure you have time to remember who you were before they came along. Be sensible *and* silly. Life is too short to spend time ironing all your clothes, save ironing for weddings and events. Same sentiment goes for washing your hair every day; dry shampoo is your friend. Exercise and eat well but don't be afraid to sack it off for wine and chips now and then. Watch trash TV and read great books. Spend time dancing and singing until you lose your voice but enjoy the peace of the great outdoors too. Create AND consume.